Unemployment Week 3, Day 22
Phone turned off today by ATT, still no unemployment check, rent past due, financial stores very low.
I do not understand why God has chosen to walk me through this fire, but I praise Him for it. I thank Him that I am being refined and prepared for something divinely greater that I could ever imagine.
Today God reminded me that most trials and periods of testing or mass transition lasted for 40 days this is only day 22.
This wonderful video put everything back in perspective for me.
(If you are viewing this from facebook, please click the link below to see the original post)
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
What it means to walk by faith and “Wait”
What it means to walk by faith and “Wait”
Wait
by Russell Kelfer
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.
"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."
Thanks Lisa Lambert for the Reminder
For those who do not know, on November 12th I lost my job of 5 years.
Now, in my third week of unemployment, things are getting a bit tight.
Through all the ups and downs of this roller coaster ride, God has been faithful.
I can tell you many stories of how money has simply appeared in my checking account, checks were mailed to me from things put in place months ago, or friends called needing computer repair work. I have not gone hungry one day, and have too much food right now! All of this and I have yet to draw a single dime of Florida Unemployment Benefits.
No matter what your particular circumstances are today, know that God loves you very much. He will honor the promises of His word. He will hold you in His arms when you have fears and doubts.
Consider this: God must allow His children to go through extraordinary circumstances in order to prove His extraordinary power through them.
Going through a tough time? Be blessed! Your being setup by God for something amazing. Hold on, wait, trust, pray, and most of all keep moving! You are being used as God's chosen instrument to reveal His glory and love to a hurting dying world. We have the hope of salvation through Jesus Christ! Nothing can take that away from us!
Be blessed today. Email me anytime if you need to speak to a friend.
brandon@project419.org
Wait
by Russell Kelfer
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.
"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."
Thanks Lisa Lambert for the Reminder
For those who do not know, on November 12th I lost my job of 5 years.
Now, in my third week of unemployment, things are getting a bit tight.
Through all the ups and downs of this roller coaster ride, God has been faithful.
I can tell you many stories of how money has simply appeared in my checking account, checks were mailed to me from things put in place months ago, or friends called needing computer repair work. I have not gone hungry one day, and have too much food right now! All of this and I have yet to draw a single dime of Florida Unemployment Benefits.
No matter what your particular circumstances are today, know that God loves you very much. He will honor the promises of His word. He will hold you in His arms when you have fears and doubts.
Consider this: God must allow His children to go through extraordinary circumstances in order to prove His extraordinary power through them.
Going through a tough time? Be blessed! Your being setup by God for something amazing. Hold on, wait, trust, pray, and most of all keep moving! You are being used as God's chosen instrument to reveal His glory and love to a hurting dying world. We have the hope of salvation through Jesus Christ! Nothing can take that away from us!
Be blessed today. Email me anytime if you need to speak to a friend.
brandon@project419.org
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Lord, Give Me Your Eyes
I have a new favorite song in which the Lord has really changed my thinking, by Brandon Heath
Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black tile
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?
Chorus:
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
In his song, Brandon challenges our daily perspectives of the world around us and makes a radical call requesting the very eyes of Abba. Christ, fully God and fully man, was the only human (I use the term loosely) to walk the earth that had the unique gift to be able to see right into the hearts and souls of Men. As I read the scriptures, I am humbled to think how Christ would speak to me if He could see directly into my heart... wait...He can, and does through the Holy Spirit.
I have really pondered about the verses of this song, wondering, would I really want to have what I am asking for as I sing it? Would my heart be strong enough to handle all the raw hurt, rage, pain, shame, unforgiveness, fear, regrets that I would see in the hearts of those around me?
What about those who were depressed, lonely, about ready to give up on life, would I be able to handle starting straight into the black hole eating away at their hearts?
Would I be able to speak and offer hope. This amazing gift of salvation and freedom, could I express it?
Lord, I want your eyes, but then again, I don't! Lord thank you for the Holy Spirit. He is our eyes. He will speak the words through us. He will lead. He will comfort. He will encourage.
Lord help me to listen to the hurting world around me, give me your ears, give me your heart to feel your Spirit tug, then give me your eyes.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
You Said Ask...
Abba Father
I kneel humbled in your presence, filled with your grace and awe struck by your unyielding love. O Lord I am without words to express how wonderful you are mountain maker, soul creator. You set the Earth on its axis, taught it to spin and numbered its days. You spoke life into existence, your very words composing the building blocks of all things. Your alone are eternal and worthy to be praised for all of time!
Lord you said ask and I'll give the nations to you...
Allowing us to be your workers in foreign lands that our mind's eye could never conceive. Using our dirty feet to go and calling them beautiful, using our vial lips to speak and calling them anointed, filling our impure minds with dreams and desires for your kingdom and calling them renewed. Lord purify our hearts and set them apart, holy vessels to be filled with your Spirit. Lord guide our paths that they might be straight and follow that perfect and narrow path blazed by your one pure Son. Lord take our lives and clothe them in the righteousness of your Son, that we may reflect Him alone to a world in longing.
Lord you said ask and I'll give the nations to you...
But do we know what we ask?
Foxes have holes but the Son of Man had no place to lay His precious head; O Lord that we might be blessed to be homeless for your sake!
O Lord all who followed you, the first twelve, all lost their lives for your message. O Lord who are we to want to hold on to that which is but a vapor here today and gone tomorrow; may our existence be only for you! A gift of the nations cost your Son His only life, may we be ever so humbly honored to give ourselves to Him in return.
Lord you said ask and I'll give the nations to you...
May we understand what it is that we ask for! Lord remove the scales from our eyes that we may see a hurt and perishing world all around us! O Lord that we could be used to reflect even the tiniest measure of your never-ending grace! Lord crush our hearts with the burdens of the world, for only a broken and contrite heart can you use. Lord give us ears to hear the cries of those all around us! Lord pour us out and make us like clean and empty earthen vessels ready to be filled only with you! Use these vessels, O Lord only as you direct them, for your Holy Spirit is the hands guiding the pot. Pour us out Lord, a holy drink offering for you!
O Lord, we ask you for the Nations.
I kneel humbled in your presence, filled with your grace and awe struck by your unyielding love. O Lord I am without words to express how wonderful you are mountain maker, soul creator. You set the Earth on its axis, taught it to spin and numbered its days. You spoke life into existence, your very words composing the building blocks of all things. Your alone are eternal and worthy to be praised for all of time!
Lord you said ask and I'll give the nations to you...
Allowing us to be your workers in foreign lands that our mind's eye could never conceive. Using our dirty feet to go and calling them beautiful, using our vial lips to speak and calling them anointed, filling our impure minds with dreams and desires for your kingdom and calling them renewed. Lord purify our hearts and set them apart, holy vessels to be filled with your Spirit. Lord guide our paths that they might be straight and follow that perfect and narrow path blazed by your one pure Son. Lord take our lives and clothe them in the righteousness of your Son, that we may reflect Him alone to a world in longing.
Lord you said ask and I'll give the nations to you...
But do we know what we ask?
Foxes have holes but the Son of Man had no place to lay His precious head; O Lord that we might be blessed to be homeless for your sake!
O Lord all who followed you, the first twelve, all lost their lives for your message. O Lord who are we to want to hold on to that which is but a vapor here today and gone tomorrow; may our existence be only for you! A gift of the nations cost your Son His only life, may we be ever so humbly honored to give ourselves to Him in return.
Lord you said ask and I'll give the nations to you...
May we understand what it is that we ask for! Lord remove the scales from our eyes that we may see a hurt and perishing world all around us! O Lord that we could be used to reflect even the tiniest measure of your never-ending grace! Lord crush our hearts with the burdens of the world, for only a broken and contrite heart can you use. Lord give us ears to hear the cries of those all around us! Lord pour us out and make us like clean and empty earthen vessels ready to be filled only with you! Use these vessels, O Lord only as you direct them, for your Holy Spirit is the hands guiding the pot. Pour us out Lord, a holy drink offering for you!
O Lord, we ask you for the Nations.
Monday, April 14, 2008
How do you Feed the King of Kings?
"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.' Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you,or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go visit you?'
The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." --Matthew 25:35-40
You and I see them everyday, if you don't, you either need a new pair of spiritual glasses or perhaps to just look in the right places.
The homeless, the poor, the starving. Those living on the streets all around us. It is the man on the corner with the sign proclaiming that he is a starving Vet in need of a hand, the woman and children selling water illegally out of ice chests on the side of US 19 on a hot summer's day, the man in line ahead of you at Wendy's through tears bartering his childhood baseball for a hamburger.
You see them, and you feel sorry for them, perhaps passing them a few dollars, but otherwise ignoring them.
-You want to help, but how? If you give them cash you are afraid they will simply spend it on booze or drugs, feeding a habit or maybe just trying to escape the life that has become the scary reality all around them.
-You want to help, but how? If you take them home and offer them an overnight rest on your couch, what if you wake up to an empty house, your stuff cleaned out and sold in a pawn shop.
-You want to help, but how? If you don't pay this bill they will turn off your electricity!
How can you ever hope to take what little you have been blessed with an help others?
How do you feed the hungry, provide drink to the thirsty, welcome the stranger, clothe the naked, look after the sick, visit the prisoner?
The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." --Matthew 25:35-40
You and I see them everyday, if you don't, you either need a new pair of spiritual glasses or perhaps to just look in the right places.
The homeless, the poor, the starving. Those living on the streets all around us. It is the man on the corner with the sign proclaiming that he is a starving Vet in need of a hand, the woman and children selling water illegally out of ice chests on the side of US 19 on a hot summer's day, the man in line ahead of you at Wendy's through tears bartering his childhood baseball for a hamburger.
You see them, and you feel sorry for them, perhaps passing them a few dollars, but otherwise ignoring them.
-You want to help, but how? If you give them cash you are afraid they will simply spend it on booze or drugs, feeding a habit or maybe just trying to escape the life that has become the scary reality all around them.
-You want to help, but how? If you take them home and offer them an overnight rest on your couch, what if you wake up to an empty house, your stuff cleaned out and sold in a pawn shop.
-You want to help, but how? If you don't pay this bill they will turn off your electricity!
How can you ever hope to take what little you have been blessed with an help others?
How do you feed the hungry, provide drink to the thirsty, welcome the stranger, clothe the naked, look after the sick, visit the prisoner?
From the Broken Pieces Comes a New Creation
Its 5:30am. I have been wanting for weeks to wake up this early and have a morning quite time; today, God granted my wish. Yesterday some of you might have read my blog, and got a bit concerned for me. Although I the last thing I wanted to was a raise up the pity flag, I had to have an arena for the frustrations that have been building within me for the last several months...
I lost my focus, my purpose, my drive. I took my eyes off what mattered most, my Savior, and put them on myself; of course, this led to the current state of affairs.
Last summer I was challenged in Romania, when I was encountered with the fact that outside my small world of an 8-5 job and soaking up sunny Florida, there was a hurting world all around me.
But in the last 8 months, what have I done about it... nothing.
Time for a change. Far too long my focus has been inward. As of today, I no longer exist. I want to become a transparent vestal, a pot, created and formed for a purpose. I want to be filled, overflow, and pour out in service all that He blesses me with.
Its all on the line. My time, money, focus, thoughts. I want them all laid on the alter of sacrifice for His Kingdom and His service.
Lord, break me, make me new again, fill me up, pour me out, break me again, then use me to be a healing hand in a hurting world.
"I'm here again, a thousand miles away from you,
A broken man, the scattered pieces of who I am,
I tried so hard, thought I could do this on my own,
I have lost so much along the way.
Then I see your face,
I know I'm finaly yours.
I find everything I though I lost before.
You call my name.
I come to you in pieces, so you can make me whole."
--Pieces, by RED
I lost my focus, my purpose, my drive. I took my eyes off what mattered most, my Savior, and put them on myself; of course, this led to the current state of affairs.
Last summer I was challenged in Romania, when I was encountered with the fact that outside my small world of an 8-5 job and soaking up sunny Florida, there was a hurting world all around me.
But in the last 8 months, what have I done about it... nothing.
Time for a change. Far too long my focus has been inward. As of today, I no longer exist. I want to become a transparent vestal, a pot, created and formed for a purpose. I want to be filled, overflow, and pour out in service all that He blesses me with.
Its all on the line. My time, money, focus, thoughts. I want them all laid on the alter of sacrifice for His Kingdom and His service.
Lord, break me, make me new again, fill me up, pour me out, break me again, then use me to be a healing hand in a hurting world.
"I'm here again, a thousand miles away from you,
A broken man, the scattered pieces of who I am,
I tried so hard, thought I could do this on my own,
I have lost so much along the way.
Then I see your face,
I know I'm finaly yours.
I find everything I though I lost before.
You call my name.
I come to you in pieces, so you can make me whole."
--Pieces, by RED
Sunday, April 13, 2008
We've Lost the Funk...can you feel that funk?
Okay, not to be one of those emo type that dumps random emotions into a blog.. but this is your warning, do not read further.
The opening line of the book I am writing states "Some time ago the hamster fell off the wheel…and frankly, I cannot remember when, but it has been a few years. I have grown tired, lax, and lazy. My zeal and pizazz are zapped by the daily gridlock and grind some of us in the city call “life.” Like a ship with mighty sails and no rudder, I aim to travel far, but find myself looping the bay in circles following the shoreline afraid of what deeper waters might hold..."
Frankly, I cannot think of a better way to express how I see my life right now. Yesterday I missed yet another friend's wedding; this being the third such even I was invited to in the last 6 month and was MIA despite my RSVP. I have been missing church, social events, and have become a reclusive homebody. I hate it.
I don't know what caused this, but I have lost the Funk, or rather gotten a bad case of it. If you are reading this, chances are you know me. I am a fun loving energetic person with a zest for life. I enjoy new things, road trips, and weekend adventures. I love to bike, having lost over 50lbs in 6 months doing said biking. However, in the last 6 months I have given up most activities that used to bring me joy, and began to live at home. At first it was due to the horrible migraine headaches that plagued me on a daily basis, but even those have subsided with the last one appearing over 2 months ago. During that time of extreme pain and frequent dizziness I was advised not to drive and became the homebody that I have slumped into today. Blockbuster employees see me more often that some of my friends. I drown myself in my work, and future dreams, often forgetting to live in the present and cease today for all the magnificance that it might potentially hold.
I just want my life back, but have no clue where to get it back from. I have changed, I fear for the worst.
Is there a way to go back? I know the lost time cannot be reclaimed, but where has my joy and pizazz gone?
I guess in short, I am simply asking for your prayers, and understanding as to the lack of my general presence in the social circles we all frequent.
The opening line of the book I am writing states "Some time ago the hamster fell off the wheel…and frankly, I cannot remember when, but it has been a few years. I have grown tired, lax, and lazy. My zeal and pizazz are zapped by the daily gridlock and grind some of us in the city call “life.” Like a ship with mighty sails and no rudder, I aim to travel far, but find myself looping the bay in circles following the shoreline afraid of what deeper waters might hold..."
Frankly, I cannot think of a better way to express how I see my life right now. Yesterday I missed yet another friend's wedding; this being the third such even I was invited to in the last 6 month and was MIA despite my RSVP. I have been missing church, social events, and have become a reclusive homebody. I hate it.
I don't know what caused this, but I have lost the Funk, or rather gotten a bad case of it. If you are reading this, chances are you know me. I am a fun loving energetic person with a zest for life. I enjoy new things, road trips, and weekend adventures. I love to bike, having lost over 50lbs in 6 months doing said biking. However, in the last 6 months I have given up most activities that used to bring me joy, and began to live at home. At first it was due to the horrible migraine headaches that plagued me on a daily basis, but even those have subsided with the last one appearing over 2 months ago. During that time of extreme pain and frequent dizziness I was advised not to drive and became the homebody that I have slumped into today. Blockbuster employees see me more often that some of my friends. I drown myself in my work, and future dreams, often forgetting to live in the present and cease today for all the magnificance that it might potentially hold.
I just want my life back, but have no clue where to get it back from. I have changed, I fear for the worst.
Is there a way to go back? I know the lost time cannot be reclaimed, but where has my joy and pizazz gone?
I guess in short, I am simply asking for your prayers, and understanding as to the lack of my general presence in the social circles we all frequent.
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