Fear not all the days of your life.

"Fear not". It seems simple, but why is this so complicated for us as humans?

I am a large 6'7' man with a hulk of a build. I played football in high school as an offensive lineman. I still lift weight frequently, and have been known to push a car up a hill. God made me into a modern day Goliath of a man (Goley-Auth! as the children called me when I was in Romania in 2007). I can brag all day about my physical strength, but you place one phone call to me and tell me that Dad (Don Hanes) is having a bad day, and I become fearful like a small child.

My father, Don, is a two time non-Hopkins lymphoma survivor. He literally has walked through the "valley of the shadow of death" during his second round of treatment at M.D. Anderson in Houston. His last major battle was in 2010, and if you want to know more about his journey, you can read it here: http://donupdate.blogspot.com/

The first time my father danced the tango of terror was in 2003. God did nothing short of perform a miracle, but this blog is not entirely about my Dad and his journey, but about fear, so I will focus on my side of his story, for I must confess the weakness of Goley-Auth to you all. In 2003 I was a wreck of a man. I had failed out of college in 2001, and was still running hard and fast from God. I didn't know how to get my life straight. When my father was diagnosed, I was living in sin with my non-Christian girlfriend who I though it was okay to start a family with. I was able to excuse things like alcoholism because "she loves me and accepts me". Then my Dad was diagnosed and it rocked my world. I didn't know how to cope. At 24 I was not ready to lose my father, and at 54, he was not ready to die. I ran, both from God and my family, having visited my father in the hospital only twice while he fought for his life. This time in my life, I was not proud of, I gave into fear, I listened to the lies of the enemy who was doing a really good job of stealing my joy, killing my witness, and destroying my existence. Needless to say, I had no clue what co-dependency was, and needed a few years of help to get back on the right path, but God is good, and he had a plan around the corner that involved moving to Florida, and meeting around 400 new friends, including an incredible church that would adopt me like a son, and where I would flourish for the next 8 years.

In 2009 life was okay in Florida. I was starting to bloom, but life was not all peaches and cream. In December, Dad found out the paper mill was closing and he would need to retire early. Two days after all the papers for early retirement were signed, Dad was back in his oncologist office for a routine checkup, and was handed bad news. The cancer was back, it had morphed, and this time, he was in for a real fight. I was in Florida, separated from my family, still on the high of my missions trip to Romania a few years earlier, and enjoying life. But, when I got the call that my Dad would need a stem-cell transplant, the fear monster crept back into my head. It moved back into its new vacation home as an unwelcome dweller for the next 9 months.
Here, at 29, I still could not deal with the possibility of the death of my father. I had seen literal miracles take place overseas, but losing my Dad, well, that was out of God's control. I can't trust God with my Dad's life, he is not big enough, this will end badly, fear, fear, fear.

"Fear Not". It appears 365 times in the bible. You literally have one verse for each day of the year. Every single day. Why did God tell us so many times "do not fear?". Perhaps as creator, he knows our flawed fallacy as humans. He knows we are in need of a savior, and we desperately need to know that God alone controls the universe. In Romania in 2007 things were falling apart on our trip and Benjamine Lupe, one of the Romanian missionaries pulled me aside and asked me a simple question that has forever changed my perspective on life.
Benny - "Brandon, is God on the throne".
Me - "Yes, of course"
Benny - "Will that change anytime soon, or in all of eternity?"
Me - "Well, no.."
Benny - "If God is on the throne, and rules the entire universe, and that is not changing anytime soon, is he big enough to take care of your situation if you trust him with it?"

Benny then went on to teach me the Romanian beatitude of "Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be broken." He was almost certain Jesus taught that one, but somehow it did not make it was lost in a scroll in some cave that time forgotten.

I will leave you with this verse in James, and the promise that God loves you, and is on the throne, and that will never change. Trust God today, He loves you oh so much.

James 1:2-4 "2 Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials,3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4 But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing."

The Embrace of the Morning Fog

High above and looking down, you are as but ants to my watchful gaze. 

Your world enveloped in the calm of a morning fog, wrapping your fair city as a child is wrapped in a blanket by his mother. Safe, warm, calm. 

But are you calm? Do you hurry about your day, scampering around like mad. Your priorities and focuses are on things so fleeting. Did you stop and appreciate the fog, the peace, the calm? Many of you see me as distant, watching you from afar, interacting only when required as my will dictates. But am I not near as well? Did you feel my presence like a fog moving rough your fair city? Did I hold your heart like a child is held in a warm blanket? Did my presence, like the fog, bring fear into your minds?  Did not the psalmist speak saying "Taste and see that the Lord is good" but yet you move throughout your day either in fear of me, doubt of me, or apathy of my presence. Peace be to you, for I AM good. Peace be to you, for I watch over you. Peace be to you, for I draw near to you and wish you to draw near to me. Peace be to you, for unto you a child is born, called Christ, the King, who will save mankind from all their sins. I do this so that you can draw near to me, and I can hold you in my blanket, and embrace you, like a father holds his child. 

Frail Grasp on the Big Picture

This song the The Eagles Sums up so much of where I see America Today

"Frail Grasp On The Big Picture"

Well, ain't it a shame
That our short little memories
Never seem to learn
The message of history
We keep makin' the same mistakes
Over and over and over and over again
And then we wonder why
We're in the shape we're in

Good ol' boys down at the bar
Peanuts and politics
They think they know it all
They don't know much of nothing
Even if one of them was to read the newspaper
Cover-to-cover
That ain't what's going on
Journalism's dead and gone

Frail grasp on the big picture
Light fading and the fog is getting thicker
It's a frail grasp on the big picture
Dark ages

You my love-drunk friend
All that red wine and candlelight
Soulful conversations
That go on until the dawn
How many times can you tell your story?
How many hangovers can you endure
Just to get some snuggling done?
You're living in a hollow dream
You don't have the slightest notion
What long-term love is all about
All your romantic liasons
Don't deal with eternal questions like
Who left the cap off the freaking toothpaste?
Whose turn to take the garbage out?

Frail grasp on the big picture
You keep on rubbin' that, you're gonna get a blister
It's a frail grasp on the big picture
I've seen it all before

And we pray to our Lord
Who we know is American
He reigns from on high
He speaks to us through middlemen
And he shepherds his flock
We sing out and we praise His name
He supports us in war
He presides over football games
And the right will prevail
All our troubles shall be resolved
We have faith in the Lord
Unless there's money or sex involved

Frail grasp on the big picture
Nobody's calling them for roughing up the pitcher (?)
It's a frail grasp on the big picture
Heaven help us

Frail grasp on the big picture
All waiting for that miracle elixir
Frail grasp on the big picture
I don't wonder anymore

Frail grasp on the big picture
Somebody says, "You brought her here so go ahead and kiss her
Frail grasp on the big picture

Frail grasp on the big picture
Light fading and the fog is getting thicker
It's a frail grasp on the big picture

Frail grasp on the big picture
Frail grasp on the big picture
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Lord, Please help us to have a grasp on your "big picture" for our country and our individual lives. Please forgive us for the many times that we focus too much on the little things which are not important to your kingdom.

Relationships Done God's Way

Wow! I met this awesome person, sparks are flying, now what?

These are some practical guidelines for those who are seeking to start or keep an existing relationship on a Holy path taken from 2 Corinthians 6 ( all scripture taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible)

1 Working together [a] with Him, we also appeal to you: "Don't receive God's grace in vain." 2 For He says: In an acceptable time, I heard you, and in the day of salvation, I helped you. Look, now is the acceptable time; look, now is the day of salvation.
3 We give no opportunity for stumbling to anyone, so that the ministry will not be blamed. 4 But in everything, as God's ministers, we commend ourselves: by great endurance, by afflictions, by hardship, by pressures, 5 by beatings, by imprisonments, (D) by riots, by labors, by sleepless nights, by times of hunger, 6 by purity, (E) by knowledge, (F) by patience, (G) by kindness, (H) by the Holy Spirit, by sincere love, (I) 7 by the message of truth, (J) by the power of God; (K) through weapons of righteousness on the right hand and the left, 8 through glory (L) and dishonor, through slander and good report; as deceivers yet true; 9 as unknown yet recognized; as dying and look—we live; as being chastened yet not killed; 10 as grieving yet always rejoicing; (M) as poor yet enriching many; as having nothing yet possessing everything. 11 We have spoken openly [b] to you, Corinthians; our heart has been opened wide. 12 You are not limited by us, but you are limited by your own affections. 13 Now in like response—I speak as to children—you also should be open to us.

Line by line breakdown

Verse 1: They worked together with God, trusting the guidance of the Holy Spirit. This reminds me that we can not do it alone! In the verse below, “a cord of three strands” refers to the Holy Spirit being one of those strands bound together, in this case, with a couple, to make sure that they knew that God was always a part of it should it not be broken!
9 Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. 10 For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up. 11 Also, if two lie down together, they can keep warm; but how can one person alone keep warm? 12 And if somebody overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken. -- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (Holman Christian Standard Bible)
Verse 2: Everything was done in acceptable time, once again, meaning the believers were trusting on the guidance of the Holy Spirit to lead their decisions.
Verse 3: They gave no opportunity for areas of compromise in their walk, especially during the critical forming of the early church; things had to be foundationally secure!
Verse 4 -5: They did not give up, and endured, despite anything this world and its corrupted morals, ideas and pressure put on them.
Verse 6D: “By Purity” 12 No one should despise your youth; instead, you should be an example to the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. -- 1 Timothy 4:12
Verse 6F: “By Patience” Remember: 1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven -- Ecclesiastes 3:1
Verse 6G: “By Kindness” One of the fruits of the spirit, we constantly show kindness to each other, although at first, there were times where I had to bee kind to you in my speech, and you had to learn to be kind to me. God has been molding each of our hearts in this area as we submitted it to Him!
Verse 6H: “By the Holy Spirit” 26 But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit; the Father will send Him in My name and He; will teach you all things and remind you of everything I have told you. -- John 14:26
Verse 6L: “By sincere love” In everything may our motives be sincere, pure, and selfless (1 Corinthians 13)
Verse 7: God’s Word guided them!
Verse 7J: God gave them the power to do that which was impossible to their ordinary nature!
Verse 7K: God gave them the armor and the spiritual weapons to fight the temptations of Satan: See Ephesians6:11-18 for a detailed description of the armor of God
Verse 11: They spoke openly to each other, in inner circles and openly to the early church leaders to get accountability. Everyone should have at least 1 or more people, both married couples and same-sex persons they are accountable to for their actions when entering into a dating relationship.

In the Heart of the Fire

"He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." -- Malachi 3:3

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study, and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study. That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.
As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities. The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed. The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it."

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

We are here for you. Please share your stories of how God is refining you in extraordinary circumstances and you might just be featured on the project419 website~!
To email your story or your confidential prayer requests, please send an email to brandon@project419.org

A Reponce to Current Times, Part II

As we all look around at the current state of our nation and world, your heart might too be burdened. I have been praying diligently, asking the Lord how we should respond as Christians to the world in the current economic and social conditions that are presenting themselves to us on an almost hourly basis.

The blogs that I will be writing over the next few weeks are specific verses and areas the Lord has shown me as He works in my life to clean me up and purify (sanctification) it for His purposes.
All of these have spoken to the core of my life, causing me to careful examine my attitudes, purposes, motive, actions, and ultimately, my core character as a Christian.

Persistence In the Midst of Trials

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition form sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart” -- Hebrews 12:1-3

Unemployment, financial loss, cancers of various kinds, brain tumors, death of a family member, anxiety and life-stresses, chaos and a loss of organization, a bad relationship causing stress, temptations from worldly sources, losing your home, etc!

The list of the things we face on in this world goes on, and on, if the issue your facing is not in above list, know that these are just a few of the requests that friends have presented to me this week!

Lord, what do we do in such a turbulent time?

“Cast all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you!” -- 1 Peter 5:7

I cannot tell you the peace that now permeates my life, even in the midst of uncertainty. Well, Brandon, have you been there, experience what I am experiencing? I may not have walked down the particular mile, and might not have worn you shoes, but, I do know the one who has! In the midst of what at that time seems to be your darkest hour, where can you turn?

The verse from Hebrews reminds us that if we "fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross" so that through him our salvation, peace, health, security, and certainty of the future lies. If He was able to create the world in 6 days, breathing it into existence with His very breath, how then is not able to take care of that which we will face? Christ has already covered the penalty for sin when he willingly took that cross in our place. The power of that cross, the power of a risen Lord, “all authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me” -- Matthew 28:18b. If he holds all authority of heaven, telling the very stars how long they can exist, how much more does he hold his child! Rest in Him today! As you lay those burdens down at the feet of Jesus, I promise, it will get better. Remember, it takes one day at a time, but you have to fix your eyes on Jesus and him alone.

We are being watched by an ungodly world... they have their magnifying glass of focus on us. They want to know what causes that ridiculous joy that we have inside us, they want to know what drives us, motivates us to keep going when times really get hard. In my next blog, I will touch upon how we can shine like stars for God's Glory!

For more information on persistence, some of my favorite verses are:James 1:2-12 Philippians 3: 12-21

This blog was inspired by the song "All Ye" By Coffey Anderson. You can view his daily video and music blog on Tangle


If you would like to know how you can begin a personal relationship with Jesus Christ or if you need prayer, encouragement, or simply like to leave a comment? Please email me, "brandon @ Project419 Dot Org" All email correspondence is kept strictly confidential unless you ask me to share your requests with others.

A Response to Current Times, Part I

My last blog was one that told of a rather bothersome dream I had. As we all look around at the current state of our nation and world, your heart might too be burdened. I have been praying diligently, asking the Lord how we should respond as Christians to the world in the current economic and social conditions that are presenting themselves to us on an almost hourly basis.

The blogs that I will be writing over the next few weeks are specific verses and areas the Lord has shown me as He works in my life to clean me up and purify (sanctification) it for His purposes.
All of these have spoken to the core of my life, causing me to careful examine my attitudes, purposes, motive, actions, and ultimately, my core character as a Christian.

"The end of all things is near. Therefore, be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should so it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen." -- 1 Peter 3:15

For those who have known me for a number of years, they understand that I have adult attention deficit disorder and often have a hard time being clear minded and self-controlled in my speech and sometimes my actions. This is who I am apart from the power of the Holy Spirit working within me. Always quick witted, prideful and sarcastic with responses, I can be downright ugly in my relations to others. For many months last year I was unhappy, complaining, and venting my life-frustrations on any ear that would listen to my pity-party of events. God humbled me around November 12th when I lost my job and a well orchestrated series of trials, tests, and opportunities was placed before me. I call them opportunities, because that is what they were; opportunities for God to show His glory as he began to refine and work in my life.
The first thing on the chopping block was my attitudes. I was told once, "control what you can control, the rest I promise will work itself out in time." I had failed to control a simply thing like my attitudes, which were then reflected in my speech. When I did serve God, I did so with very selfish motives, often to advance my own agenda, or propel myself forward into the direction that I felt I was supposed to go. Are you hearing a word a lot in the last paragraph? I, I, I. As the Holy Spirit began to do His work, the words of the scriptures cut through my heart like a knife.

It was time for a change, a different way of living. The transition did not happen overnight; I am still in the middle of it. That strength that is promises us in verse 11, I have learned to tap into that daily. I have to ask for that strength by relinquishing control of everything. I can only receive that after I admitted that I was helpless to control my life on my own.

It all started when I placed my faith and trust in Jesus Christ as Lord, then trusted Him daily with my life. I can barely put into words the peace that I now have in the midst of this on-going trial. I will attempt to write about it over the next few blogs.

If you find yourself lost in a sea of uncertainty today and need to know where to turn, my friend it is just a prayer away. I would love to talk more with you! Please email me, brandon at project419 dot org 0r message me on skype anytime you see my status as "online" from this blog.

Bless you today!